The picture and the truth

I picture myself cool, calm, collected.  Unafraid and unaffected.  Unmoved and unmovable.  Head held high, confident.  Serene, peaceful.

But I am none of these, and the picture is, well...only a picture.  I am, as someone recently said, "flappable".  Easily affected, moody, emotional. Agitated and anxious.  Worried, stressed.  Anything and everything but peaceful.

I am not sure how to be different.  Why do so many things, both external and internal, have the power to affect my mood?  To make me happy or sad.  I don't like it.  My emotions are too much in charge, my mind often unchecked.

This cannot be.

Needing rest, peace...

⁵ For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
⁷ On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us. Selah              Psalm 62:5-8