Thursday, February 28, 2013

The bucket (again)

I am needing to re-remind myself that there is an end to me:  I can only handle so much, do so much, be in so many places at once, and that is okay.  And after I am done with that "so much," rest is good and necessary.

Today after school I plopped down, exhausted, for my daily nap.  As soon as the covers were pulled up, the guilt began to pile on.  Slanderous, unkind accusations of laziness and sloth filled my head: "Shouldn't you be grading?  Shouldn't you be more productive?  Why are you such a bum?"

As I talked to my mom later in the evening and began to describe these thoughts, tears filled my eyes.  I believe the accusations in my mind.  In fact, I let them bully and coerce me into to taking on more responsibilities and activities.  Then my mom kindly reminded me about the bucket...the little bucket that can only handle as much water as a little bucket is made for.  Thanks, mom, for reminding me (again) that you can't fit 10 gallons of water in a 5 gallon bucket.

The Bucket
A five gallon bucket
is all that I am
though I shove and I push
trying always to cram
more and more in my life
than can actually fit
til the bucket's too full
and starting to split

A small trickle begins
just droplets at first
til the bucket is bulging
and ready to burst
at the seams though it seems
it can hold it all in
but this bucket is made
for five gallons not ten.

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