Auntie mom

Dakota and Cheyenne spent all of last week at Aunt "Trishwa's" house!

They loved playing Jenga!

We spent several days at the Cordelia Park swimming pool.  Only 1$ to get in!

We made sugar cookies to test out Cheyenne's Princess cookie cutters.

Chey and Dakota both participated in Grace Covenant's VBS: The Winning Edge

Dakota eating one of our homemade popsicles:
sliced bananas, raspberry and orange juice.

yum!

One difference between girls and boys: 
Girls use potholders for baking, but boys use them for BOXING!

Enjoying our cookies

*sigh*

One day while sitting my car waiting for the traffic light to change at the corner of Parkwood and Hawthorne, I noticed a man standing in the median waiting to cross the street. He was wearing the kind of blue uniform that you would expect of someone who works in the dark corners of a factory, where he does the same meaningless task over and over again.  Perhaps he was walking home from the Kellogg's plant down the road.

His shoulders were slumped down, and his eyes looked toward the ground.  His face was sad and tired.

Then, he sighed. It was a deep sigh, filled with loss and hopelessness and despair and weariness. 

I wondered if he had lost his job or if his wife was sick.  Maybe he was tired from so many years of doing the same meaningless job with little hope of advancing or ever making enough money for his family to thrive.

Perhaps the man echoed the sentiments of Job...

For sighing has become my daily food;
my groans pour out like water.- Job 3:24

I thought of all the times I have sighed.  Over disappointment with where I am in life.  With unfulfilled desires of marriage and family.  With tiredness.  With sadness over lost friends, lost time and lost dreams.

I am glad of the truth of these words:

 All my longings lie open before you, Lord;
 my sighing is not hidden from you. Psalm 38: 9

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but  the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. Romans 8:26-27

He makes all things new

I love old things, especially things that other people might throw away.  I can't resist slowing down to see if the junk someone left on the side of the road might be a treasure waiting for me rescue.  The Salvation Army thrift store calls my name each Wednesday for half-off day.  Yard sales feel like an adventure.  Throwing away an old coffee can seems like betrayal. And my grandmother's basement feels like a treasure trove.

Why? 

All these discarded items are just waiting to be redeemed, reused, repurposed, restored.  To be made beautiful again.

I long for God to do the same in me.

Finity

I am not infinite.  I do not have unlimited wisdom, power, knowledge, ability, resources or time.  The funny thing is that this is a new discovery for me; perhaps I have been in denial or just did not recognize the symptoms of my own finitude:

Thinking I can cram dozens of activities into one week and I discover that no, I cannot actually teleport to make it to each of them in time, or have the energy to interact with other human beings once I arrive.

Racking my brain I try to reason through/figure out/predict the future.  Oh, you can't do that either?

Wishing I was someone else who is more organized, more punctual, more thoughtful, more insightful, more, well everything, I find I am still just myself and my wishing hasn't changed a thing.

Each time I arrive at the end of my own strength, I beat myself up for not being more.  But in my lack is where God's grace is seen.  He is Creator, I am created.  He is infinite, I am finite.  He is eternal, I am temporal.  He is more, I am less.  He is enough, more than enough, and His strength is made perfect in weakness.  In fact, my finiteness is His grace teaching me to invite Him in, to know Him, to see His strength, to truly walk with Him and through Him.  It is a sweet invitation and calling.  It is a call to prayer.  He loves to answer prayer!

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. 
- John 15:8

11. Train Mia the Dog

Well, I don't know if I have quite trained Mia the dog, but at least I am on my way!  Thanks to Cesar Millan's dog whispering techniques, I should have her bringing me Starbucks by sometime late this summer.

Actually, the best thing I learned from Cesar's book is that I must be the boss, the pack leader, the one in charge.  Which means that I go out the door first on a walk.  She stays beside or behind me the whole time.   In fact, leading her on a walk is the best way to teach her who is in charge!

I also learned that dogs need three things with the first being the most important (somehow I have had this backwards the whole time):
1. Exercise
2. Discipline
3. Affection

Finally, dogs are not people (who knew!), so don't treat them like they are.  They are animals first, dogs second, breed third, and name last.  What does that mean, exactly?  Too much to explain here....read the book! 

30. Weekend getaway with Mom!

My mom and I went to Charleston the first weekend in May!  Our adventures include, but are not limited to:
- Walking over the Ravenel Bridge and seeing a HUGE container ship
- Walking around Battery Park
- Taking a Carriage Ghost Tour
- Viewing the gardens of some house/museum we didn't want to pay an entry fee to
- Getting lost on the way to kayaking
- Getting stuck in the mud while lost
- Being attacked by mosquitoes while stuck in the mud
- Kayaking through the blackwaters and seeing lots of birds and one gator
- Seeing the Citadel

The words I speak

The words I speak are not my own
No wisdom Can I give
But come and look upon the cross
Come, believe and live!
His grace sufficient is our hope
His mercy calms our fears
Wrath and judgement borne in love
Life bought with blood and Tears

Minutes

Minutes by trishjackson

Minutes gone passed
like dead men sleep
never to rise
never more to speak.
Why among the dead
do the living you seek?
Why look back
when there is now to see?

Do You Know?

Do You Know by trishjackson

Do you know just how the wind blows?
Have you heard what it says?
Can you see as it blows through trees?
Calling all God's people to their knees

Singing, ooooh

Do you know just how the waves roll?
Have you heard what they say?
Can you see the mighty, mighty sea?
Calling all God's people to their knees

Singing, ooooh

Do you know how Jesus saved your soul?
Have you heard what He said?
Can you see how He loves you and me?
Calling all God's people to their knees

Good Morning from Ica!!

Good morning :) it is our last day in Perú. It is hard to think about
saying goodbye to the boys that we have been with here in Ica.
Yesterday we ate with them, played soccer with them, sang with them,
and ended the day watching a movie.

Time and love invested are always good seeds. We pray that God would
take our little seeds and let them grow.

Today we are giving out water in the desert. Pray for our eyes to be
opened and our hearts to be broken with the things that break our
Father's heart!

Goodbye, Kusi!

Friday afternoon we said goodbye to the children at the kusi home and
took an overnight bus ride to Lima for a day of touring and shopping.

Today we are at the Kawai boys home on the coast, one hour south of
Lima. We will be leading the church service this morning!

Today was the last day of VBS! The culmination of our three days was
a giant tree to represent being planted in Christ, growing in Christ
and bearing Fruit in Christ! The leaves on the tree are the kids'
handprints :)

Beautiful feet

Today we washed the feet of over 70 children and gave out seventy
pairs of shoes (provided by Samaritan's Feet). What a humbling and
sweet time with each of the children!

275 adobes on the first day!

Planted in Christ

Today in VBS we talked about being planted in Christ! We want our
hearts to be good soil for the good news that Jesus came to give us
life, and life to the full!

The kids made little cups and planted seeds!

Adobes

We will be making adobe bricks from mud, straw and water!

Kusi School

The cornerstone of this school was laid by SLCA in 2004, our first
senior trip to Perú. Today we will be doing VBS here!

Breakfast day 1!

We are safe here in Perú! Today has been a long day of bus riding.
Tomorrow we begin with VBS and construction!

Peru Trip 2011: Itinerary

Here is our itinerary with links with information about each place we will be visiting!  This is SLCA's 8th Senior Mission Trip to Peru!

Sunday, May 22: Leave for Perú
Monday, May 23: Travel to Kusi by bus
Tuesday, May 24- Thursday, May 26 VBS in Kusi school; Construction
Friday May 27: Lake Llanganuco / Evening bus to Lima
Saturday May 28: City tour of Lima, shopping / Travel to Kawai
Sunday May 29: Church in Kawai / Travel to Ica
Monday, May 30: Street Boys home in morning, Dune buggies in afternoon
Tuesday, May 31: Give out water in the desert. Travel to Lima, fly home

15. Learn how to make tilapia

Why in the world was "make tilapia" on my list of things to do this year?  After making the tilapia and eating it I remember that I don't really even like fish.  Well, at least I tried!

I asked the Lord

One of my favorite songs:

I Asked the Lord

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair

I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He’d answer my request
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part

Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low

“Lord, why is this?” I trembling cried
“Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?”
“Tis in this way,” the Lord replied
“I answer prayer for grace and faith.”

“These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou may seek thy all in me.”

Righteous One

Righteous One by trishjackson


You hold the nations in your hands
Kings and kingdoms obey your command
Alone your throne will stand
Held firm by your strong hand.

Bow down and kiss the son,
You are the only righteous one
Every tribe and tongue
is your possession
 
Arise, oh Church, Arise
Beloved, chosen ones
Behold the Crucified Son
He calls you by His name
He's risen, and He comes again

Oh, do you hear the mountains sing?
Praises resound across the sea.
What great news they bring
of our strong God and King!

He rides the ancient skies above
His voice like thunder shouting of
His heart for His beloved
Bought back with His own blood!

Arise, oh Church, Arise
Beloved, chosen ones
Behold the Crucified Son
He calls you by His name
He's risen, and He comes again

Arise, oh Church, Arise
Behold the King is coming soon
Prepare the Bride for the Bridegroom
Arise, oh Church, Arise

Vampire!

Facebook is a vampire
it sucks the life out of me
though it looks really attractive
and seems to offer all I want
it really is a liar
giving me nothing that I need






drawing by me :)

Thank you, Miss Clark!

We all remember their names.  They are the teachers that made such an impact on our lives that we can never forget them.

For me, it was 4th grade, Miss Clark.  It was a bumpy beginning.   I didn't like her at first because she sent notes home to my parents saying I was misbehaving.  How can a little girl not laugh when the boy beside her is pretending that his glue stick is lip gloss?  No one can keep silent under such circumstances!

But once all of that unpleasantness was behind us, I discovered how amazing my teacher was.  She introduced us to Tchaikovsky and Beethoven.  She let us paint like Van Gogh.  She created a class recipe book from our recipes.  She had us be the parent for a day, which meant we had to wake mom up in the morning, make her breakfast, pack lunches, do laundry, clean, and cook dinner.

But more than all of the fun things she taught us, I remember that she loved us.  Every week she gave out "Special People" awards to anyone who had done all their homework and not gotten their name on the board.  I liked that.  I liked feeling special.  I liked the way she put stickers and smileys and told me she was proud of me.  I still have all my awards.

Miss Clark is the reason that I am a teacher.   One day while sitting in class, I noticed my own name on the special people list.  It had been there consistently for several weeks.  I felt encouraged.  It was then that I told my nine-year-old self, "When I grow up I want to be a teacher so that I can make people feel special too." 

Now, I am grown up....sort of....and this year I will complete 8 years of teaching.

Thank you, Miss Clark.  You made a difference in my life!  

Today I was sharing with someone about Miss Clark.  My eyes got a little teary.  Telling the story made me realize that what I do everyday IS important.  I have this fear that somehow I will waste my life.  That I will get to the end and find out that I have not spent it well.  But today, as I remembered Miss Clark and as I thought about my students, I was reminded that it is never a waste to spend yourself on behalf of others.

Dress up

Sometimes I like to dress up.  Today I wore a new outfit to work.  Not new clothes, but a new combination of clothes that made for a really cute outfit.  I felt pretty.  I wanted people to tell me I was pretty, so I went to Trader Joe's after work.  Maybe I would run into someone there, and they would tell me how great I looked.  I went around the store walking confidently, back straight, head high, high heels making that businessy clackety clack on the floor.  No luck.  I didn't see anyone I knew.  No one noticed.

As I drove away from the store,  I realized that I was just pretending, just playing dress up.  I do that when I want to be someone else and when I want others to think I am someone else.  Someone classier.  Someone more beautiful.  Someone put together.  Someone who is going somewhere important.

Sometimes when I dress up, I am really just hiding.  Hiding from who I really am.  Hiding from the person that others might see and not like.

Playing dress up.  That is not something new.  Adam and Eve played dress up, too, trying to cover up their shame after they ate the fruit that was forbidden to them.  Fig leaves.  But their attempts to cover their shame was not enough.  Only God could cover them.  Only God can cover me.

Harmony

I am a harmony
searching for a melody,
the beautiful tune
that will finally set me free.

Where is that melody
that creates a euphony?
The wrong song creates
a cacophony inside of me.

Sing a song for me!
Would you, if I say please?
I want to hear your heart,
know if you are for me.

Until then I will bring,
the half song that I sing
bittersweet to my own ears,
yet pleasing to the King.

strangers

familiar stranger
i know your face
but neither one of us
has much to say
you don't know me
i don't know you
and we're not sure
that we want to
so we both turn
and walk away
"love you, see you soon"
we say

What do you see?

What do you see,
when you see me?
A soaring bird
or a busy bee?
a tiny seed
or a tall oak tree?

What do you do?

What do you do with hope?
Do you walk it like a rope?

What do you do with fear?
Do you pretend that it's not there?

What do you do with pain,
when it falls on you like rain?

What do you do with joy?
Can you believe its not a ploy?

Know

Know by trishjackson

Know
Music/Lyrics by Trish Jackson

Gracious God
My heavenly Father
I love you
My strong refuge
My stone of help
I trust you

For my times are in your hands
You lead me
When all others turn away
You are there

Sovereign Lord
My closest friend
You walk beside me
Shepherd King
Prince of Peace
Your hand will guide me

For my times are in your hands
You lead me
When all others turn away
You are there

You know my heart
It's not hidden from you
You know my thoughts
It's not hidden from you
You hear my sigh
It's not hidden from you
You hear my cry
As I call out only for you
For you, for you

And you hear me
And you answer
You know

Satisfy

Satisfy by trishjackson

Satisfy
music/lyrics by Trish Jackson
 
You offer me good things from your hand
I should be content
Or so you would think
I go in search of other things
I think can satisfy
They leave me dry
They can't satisfy
And they don't

You are my portion and my cup
You are enough
My heart will wander til it finds its home in you
Living water, bread of life
You're all I need

My heart often goes its own way
Worshiping idols
Made of clay
These are images I've made
Unable to speak, to hear, to save
From the grave
They can't satisfy
And they don't

You are my portion and my cup
You are enough
My heart will wander til it finds its home in you
Living water, bread of life
You're all I need

Give me an undivided heart
To follow hard
After you
I'm just the woman at the well
Who needs to drink
From the truth
That you can satisfy
And you do

Whispers

Whispers by trishjackson

Whispers

Lyrics/Music by Trish Jackson

Whispers of a fading world:
“Is there something more than this?”
Glimpses of another world,
How long must we wait for it?

Chorus
In the twinkling of an eye
all will be made new.
The grave clothes will come off,
and weʼll be dressed in white.
The Savior with open arms
will call His children home.
Weʼll see Him face to face,
no longer be ashamed...

Whispers of the Holy One
“O, I am with you always.”
Glimpses, of the kingdom come,
the Spirit and the Bride await.

Chorus

Preparing for the rain

A few months ago a friend and I were talking about waiting and what it looks like to wait.  She reminded me of the scene in Facing the Giants where the football coach is talking to a gentleman who prays daily for the Christian school.

He talks of two farmers who were praying for rain.  One farmer prayed and then when out and prepared his fields.  The other farmer prayed and waited. The question is: which one believed God?



Here are some quotes on waiting I read recently:

Waiting isn't just a matter of time passing. It's a conscious effort of preparing yourself for what lies ahead. What are you waiting on? How are you preparing? - a friend's facebook wall

"To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God molds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control." - Henri J. M. Nouwen

Flashback

Memaw sent us some old pictures! 
It is fun being in pictures with people who look like you ;)
...even if you do have bad, early 90's hair

1992?

1991?

On purpose

The past few fays I have been wondering to myself how I can live life on purpose.  I feel pulled in so many directions by different desires and passions. 

One day I want to move to Mexico.  I have always wanted to go, and the door is open.  It seems like the right time.  Life would be simpler there.  Church and School connected.  One group of friends. Small town.

Then the next day I want to stay here.  I love my job, I love my students, and I love my friends.  I find myself dreaming up ideas for classes next year and my mind begins planning for the 2011 Cross Country season and a trip to Spain/Italy with students over Spring Break.

Then at home I am pulled by other desires.  Guitar lessons, so I can be a rock star one day.  Maybe I want to open up a Spanish Language Cafe.  Perhaps I want to try to write kids books. Maybe I will get a Masters in Spanish.  Maybe I will go back and study clarinet.

And then there are all those desires and ideas that are completely out of my hands- marriage, family, adoption, homeschooling.

How I am supposed to know what to do with all the ideas in my head?  I end up chasing everything and going nowhere.  I want to have direction and purpose. 

I was reading in Acts this morning.  Paul the Apostle said, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."  Acts 20:24

Paul knew what he was supposed to do.  Preach the Gospel.

Missions was my major in college. I wanted to live over seas and work with children...But here I am, nine years after college, teaching Spanish in the States.  Did I miss something?

So many questions.  Not many answers.

One time my pastor was talking about focus.  He said if we focus on and pursue people, places and things, we could be chasing forever.  Directionless.  But if we make Jesus our focus and goal, He will bring the right people, places and things into our lives at the right time.  Sounds like a verse in Hebrews:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

Lord Jesus, let me fix my eyes on you!  You are my purpose!

psalm 1

Small, frail seed
you were meant to be
a strong, tall oak
a towering tree
a place of rest
beneath your leaves
with roots that run deep
beside the stream
bearing good fruit
in every season

Jesus calling

A quote from Jesus Calling, but Sarah Young:

"Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity.  Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties.  If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of life, it is possible to trust me in all situations."

Fallen leaves

As leaves fall
into a stream
the current carries
away fallen dreams

The tree is left bare
from all that's lost
the winter winds
then bring the frost

All seems dead
for hope is gone
longing lies dormant
awaiting the dawn

The winter is passed
let the spring begin
for now is the time
to dream again

Let song burst forth
new buds appear
smell the sweet fragrance
of joy born through tears

The Prize

Future holder
Dream giver
Sovereign Author
     teach me to live
At rest in your hands
Fear cast aside
Eyes fixed on you
     You are the prize

one thing

Fractured lives
hearts divided
busy minds
bodies tired

Why do you spin?
Why do you strive?

Spread too thin
stretched too wide
one inch deep
no where to hide

Why do you spin?
Why do you strive?

Hearts distracted
too many things
one is needed
the King of Kings

lost sheep

Why do I live as if you're not there
a wandering orphan, out of your care
it's not your hand, my unbelief has led me there

One year ago...

This week is the anniversary of our sweet Aimee Powell's death.  It is incredible to think how quickly a year goes by.  It always seemed to me like her soul was too big for this world.  No matter how she tried to fit in it, it was always uncomfortable and not quite right- like a sweater too small.  Aimee, we are thankful that you are with our Father.  We love you and miss you so much.

Here are some thoughts from a friend:
"Sometimes happy endings are not happy at all, but they are still endings. This does not mean that they are the wrong endings, or that a better ending slipped by. Perhaps in a broken world, imperfect endings are at times the only way to close a story. They are the only endings that fit. They are the best endings. --thinking about and missing my friend Aimee." - Josh Stockment

Psalm 27

Of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—
   whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
   of whom shall I be afraid?
 ² When the wicked advance against me
   to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
   who will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
   my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
   even then I will be confident.
 ⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
   this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
   all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
   and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
   he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
   and set me high upon a rock.
 ⁶ Then my head will be exalted
   above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
   I will sing and make music to the LORD.
 ⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
   be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
   Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
   do not turn your servant away in anger;
   you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
   God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
   the LORD will receive me.
¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD;
   lead me in a straight path
   because of my oppressors.
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
   for false witnesses rise up against me,
   spouting malicious accusations.
 ¹³ I remain confident of this:
   I will see the goodness of the LORD
   in the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
   be strong and take heart
   and wait for the LORD.

speak to me

Speak to Me by trishjackson

I hear you call out my name, oh God
It's a sweet, sweet sound
When you call my name
And I am wondering what you might say next
When you speak to me,
Speak to me

I am waiting for your voice
I am listening to hear you speak
Speak to me

I'm afraid of what you might ask me
To give to you, to give to you
What you require seems so much
Help me be strong
and obey

I am waiting for your voice
I am listening to hear you speak
Speak to me

You say:
take up your cross and follow me
no looking back, even for a moment
to die is to live to live is to die
give your whole life, hold nothing back
for my yoke is easy, my burden is light
take it upon you and you will find rest


I have heard, heard your voice
it speaks words, words of life to me
I have heard, heard your voice
Its the only one that brings me peace
Speak to me


 **I recorded this on garageband :)  still a work in progress with lots of mistakes (oops)

14.6 and 14.7 Winter Warm-me-ups!

This past week I conquered 

two new recipes: Beef Stew and Chili!

 
My niece and nephew helped cut up the ingredients for the beef stew.  We were going to eat it for dinner, but Aunt Trish-wa did not pay attention that the recipe said that it takes 2-3 hours to cook.  Sad!  We ended up eating nachos instead.





The chili was a joint effort of my roomie, Deb and I.  We substituted ground chicken for beef, and it still came out quite tasty, especially with some cornbread one the side!

snow day chronicles

3-4 inches fell in just two hours!

 We went sledding!

We asked some poor guy to take our picture outside of Starbucks.

Day 3, and the roads are finally clear.  Tomorrow, back to school.

I am so happy to see the sun!

A Chinese Proverb

"Beware of the man whose only tool is a hammer, for he sees every problem as a nail."

On knowing and being known

"Is not this all that a loving soul can do to enter into communion with another! Nay, how many who love never come nearer than to behold each other as in a mirror, seem to know and yet never know the inward life; never enter the other soul, and part at last, with but the vaguest notion of the universe on the border of which they have been hovering for years?"

"For essential beauty is infinite; and, as the soul of Nature needs an endless succession of varied forms to embody her loveliness, countless faces of beauty springing forth, not any two the same, at every one of her heart throbs; so the individual form needs an infinite change of its environments, to enable it to uncover all the phases of its loveliness."  -Phantastes, by George MacDonald

closing doors

"the sound of a closing door, the saddest of all sounds sometimes..." - Phantastes, George MacDonald

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

longing

"What is, is actual.

What might be,

Simply is not.

And we must

Therefore,

Not query God

As though

He robbed us

Of what

Is not.

What is ours

Is good,

God-given,

And enriched.

Let not our longing

Slay the appetite

Of our living."

~ Jim Elliot in a letter to Elizabeth, responding to her frustration in the quest to get married, as recorded in Shadow of the Almighty (Thanks to my friend Christina for putting this on her blog).

19. Have my nephew over for a weekend

It was Dakota's turn to spend the weekend at "Aunt Trishwa's."  

He showed me how to fly like a dragon and fight off intruders.

 Dakota in his Night Fury pijamas!  

He loves the movie How to Train Your Dragon

4. Finish 42 books in 365 days.

Time is up!  On January 9, 2010 I decided to try to read 42 books.  Here is the list.  I am so thankful for good books.  They open the imagination and hold a mirror to our souls.   

1. From Fear to Freedom- Rose Marie Miller
2. Sense and Sensibility- Jane Austen
3. The Peace Maker- Ken Sande
4. Crazy Love- Francis Chan
5. Is That You, God?- Loren Cunningham
6. Designed for Dignity-Richard Pratt, Jr.
7. I Capture the Castle- Dodie Smith
8. Mythology- Edith Hamilton
9. Forgotten God- Francis Chan
10. What's He Really Thinking? - Paula Rinehart
11. The Five Love Languages of God- Gary Chapman
12. The Ligtening Thief- Rick Riordan
13. Sea of Monsters- Rick Riordan
14. The Titan's Curse- Rick Riordan
15. The Battle of the Labyrinth- Rick Riordan
16. The Last Olympian- Rick Riordan
17. The Hole in Our Gospel- Rick Stearns
18. Strong Women, Soft Hearts- Paula Rinehart
19. Too Small to Ignore- Wess Stafford
20. The Southern Cross- Paul Clark
21. A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss- Jerry Sittser
22. Animal Farm- George Orwell
23. The Last Sin Eater- Francine Rivers
24. Who Moved My Cheese? - Spencer Johnson
25. Understanding Who You Are-Larry Crabb
26. Choosing Rest- Sally Breedlove
27. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone- JK Rowling
28. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets- JK Rowling
29. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban- JK Rowling
30. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire- JK Rowling
31. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix- JK Rowling
32. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
33. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
34. Shepherding a Child's Heart- Tedd Tripp
35. Boundaries- Henry Cloud/John Townsend
36. Cold Tangerines- Shauna Niequist
37. Orthodoxy- GK Chesterton
38. Bittersweet- Shauna Niequist
39. How to Get a Date Worth Keeping- Henry Cloud
40. The Princess and the Goblin- George MacDonald
41. The Princess and Curdie- George MacDonald
42. A Severe Mercy- Sheldon Vanauken
43. The Miracle of Language- Richard Lederer
44. Suprised by Joy- CS Lewis
45. Phantastes- George MacDonald

SNOW DAY

a snow day poem

little flurries flurrying around
they dance and twirl without a sound
they gently fall and meet the ground 
beauty and grace in them abounds
in following the one who calls them down

My 2010 Soundtrack

Here is a list of my favorite songs from 2010 and some of the lyrics that inspire/move me:

Unwinding Cable Car: Anberlin
This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in...

You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart

None But Jesus: Hillsong United
All my delight is in you, Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength

Save Me: JJ Heller
Living
Am I really living
Or am I just existing
Hiding away

Danger
The world is full of danger
But if I never try to go outside
My heart will waste away

All I Need: JJ Heller

Ready and Waiting to Fall: MAE
It's never been more perfect being alive
I've never felt more satisfied

Looks Like Love: Needtobreathe
Our hearts can only shake
When there's risk that they could break
That's a chance that I will take

So, I wont run when it looks like love
I won't hide beneath the fear
Of how my past has come undone

Awake My Soul: Mumford and Sons
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Sigh No More: Mumford and Sons
Love it will not betray you,
dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Long Journey: Sarah Jarosz
I have just begun
A long journey that will run
The length and width of summer time
And the cool fall air will guide me home
Yea the cool fall air will blow me home

You'll be miles away
I want to go, but I wanna stay
The music beggin' me to go
But your love can guide me home
Yea your love can guide me home

Healing is in Your Hands
Our present, our future,
our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood

This is Home: Switchfoot
Created for a place I've never known

How He Loves: David Crowder
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,

The Call: Regina Spektor
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Guacamole

aguacate y tomate
córtalos y bate, bate
echa sal y limón
y ají por tío Juan

a seed

In the lonely
something grows
you the only
one who knows
down deep
are hidden things
a seed once dead
to life then springs

Poem for a missed friend

All alone
there's no one home
but the dog and I
the crazy cat
some books to read
a cup of tea
dear sweet friend
why did you leave?

canta alma mia

Mi alma canta
aun que no sabe que decir
una música dulce
sin palabras para oír

Canción de suspiros
de anhelos y de soñar
notas como lluvia
cayendo al llorar

¿Por qué alma mía
cantas tantas tristezas?
¿No sabes que pronto
llega tu esperanza?

Canta, alma, fuerte,
ya sabes las palabras
mil voces te ha dado
el Señor de maravillas

Levanta, alma, canta
grita con júbilo
al Rey glorioso canta,
Él te rescató

wishful thinking

I ordered a guitar stand. I am hoping that leaving the guitar propped up in the corner of the room will inspire me to practice more. You know, since it is so hard to get it out of the case every time. Who wants to do that?

Hello, Charlotte

This past Sunday was a beautiful, spring like day in the Queen City.
Thank you, Lord, for reminders that it is not always winter.
The sun will shine again.
The trees and earth will burst forth with blooms.
There is life yet to come.

Every day on my drive home the skyline greets me with a different view.  Sometimes the setting sun shines off the buildings, seeming to light everything on fire.  Other times there are dark clouds behind the buildings that make them look closer and bigger than ever.  Sometimes I smile as I see the city, almost as if we are greeting each other after a long day.  Hello, Charlotte, good to see you!

the literary cat

Riley cat inspired a first attempt at a homophonic poem.


Riley is a literary cat,
the kind that likes tall tales.
He can write one out in a jiff
with his right paw and tail.

The stories that he likes to tell
are at least ten stories high,
of mice that sing and dogs that dance
And birds that cannot fly.

Once he penned while in his pen
eight poems while eating steak.
With much at stake, he penned four more
to pay for the steak he ate.

to be continued....

Celebrating 2010

I am so thankful for God's kindness and favor in 2010. Here are some things that I am thankful for in no particular order...



Weddings and time with friends you have known forever!

Sharing the Gospel in Peruvian schools.

Running the Race, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus,
the author and perfecter of our faith.

Books that bring life and health

Students that make me laugh, daily!

Celebrating 30 years of life with friends in NYC.

Seeing God's work in the hearts of
Our students at SLCA who raised over 15,000$ to
send to Double Harvest ministries in Haiti to bring relief after the earthquake.

My sweet niece and nephew!

Charlotte: my home!

Mia the dog: She is a great running buddy.

There is no time...

I have often been intrigued by the words we heard from a wise island man.

My friends and I were in a rush to arrive to a tiny island called Little Cay located off the Atlantic coast of Honduras. We were all very excited and felt a bit like movie stars as we talked of “our own private island,” which was probably no larger than a football field.

The ferry was not been running that day due to weather concerns, and Andrew was not one to wait around, especially because we had only rented the island for a couple of days. He went in search of a private boat that would take us from la Ceiba on the mainland to Utila, an island town just about 8 miles off the coast. From there, the owner of Little Cay would come to transport us to our island.

After an hour of searching, Andrew found a Cuban gentlemen, obviously worn by years at sea, to take us across. At first Andrew’s great idea seemed like a fun adventure. But after we left the security of the bay, the waves tossed our little ship all over and at times threatened to fill the entire boat with sea water. Our adventure had ceased to be fun and began to be frightening. Our captain did not seemed phased by the wind or the waves. The six of us, however, were hunched down in the boat, trying to keep the salt water out of our eyes, wondering if we would ever see blue sky again.

We finally made it to Utila, a set of washed up, weary travelers. We draped our clothes all over the dock, hoping they would dry in the sun that had finally reappeared. Two cell phones and one camera were rendered useless after encountering too much salt water.

Then, after an hour or two of waiting, mostly impatiently, on the dock. We saw our host coming to meet us in a boat. We were very eager to finally arrive to Little Cay. Our host seemed to notice our hurry. He greeted us, helped us load our things onto his long boat, and took us to the island.

At some point during our twenty minute excursion, he uttered the words that often come back to me in moments of hurry or impatience. Those moments when the future can’t get here soon enough. The moments when I rush from thing to thing, not even aware of myself or those around me.

“There is no time, only life,” he said.

That is how the island felt once we finally arrived. No time. No watches. No hurry. Just us friends, sharing life and food and conversation. Sometimes sitting together, other times walking around the island alone. We snorkeled. We laid in the sun. We tried to open coconuts. We buried our toes in the sand. We watched the hermit crabs that invaded the island each night. We saw the tall palm trees bent by the sea wind. We saw sunsets and sunrises. We enjoyed. We lived.

There is no time, only life.