Vampire!

Facebook is a vampire
it sucks the life out of me
though it looks really attractive
and seems to offer all I want
it really is a liar
giving me nothing that I need






drawing by me :)

Thank you, Miss Clark!

We all remember their names.  They are the teachers that made such an impact on our lives that we can never forget them.

For me, it was 4th grade, Miss Clark.  It was a bumpy beginning.   I didn't like her at first because she sent notes home to my parents saying I was misbehaving.  How can a little girl not laugh when the boy beside her is pretending that his glue stick is lip gloss?  No one can keep silent under such circumstances!

But once all of that unpleasantness was behind us, I discovered how amazing my teacher was.  She introduced us to Tchaikovsky and Beethoven.  She let us paint like Van Gogh.  She created a class recipe book from our recipes.  She had us be the parent for a day, which meant we had to wake mom up in the morning, make her breakfast, pack lunches, do laundry, clean, and cook dinner.

But more than all of the fun things she taught us, I remember that she loved us.  Every week she gave out "Special People" awards to anyone who had done all their homework and not gotten their name on the board.  I liked that.  I liked feeling special.  I liked the way she put stickers and smileys and told me she was proud of me.  I still have all my awards.

Miss Clark is the reason that I am a teacher.   One day while sitting in class, I noticed my own name on the special people list.  It had been there consistently for several weeks.  I felt encouraged.  It was then that I told my nine-year-old self, "When I grow up I want to be a teacher so that I can make people feel special too." 

Now, I am grown up....sort of....and this year I will complete 8 years of teaching.

Thank you, Miss Clark.  You made a difference in my life!  

Today I was sharing with someone about Miss Clark.  My eyes got a little teary.  Telling the story made me realize that what I do everyday IS important.  I have this fear that somehow I will waste my life.  That I will get to the end and find out that I have not spent it well.  But today, as I remembered Miss Clark and as I thought about my students, I was reminded that it is never a waste to spend yourself on behalf of others.

Dress up

Sometimes I like to dress up.  Today I wore a new outfit to work.  Not new clothes, but a new combination of clothes that made for a really cute outfit.  I felt pretty.  I wanted people to tell me I was pretty, so I went to Trader Joe's after work.  Maybe I would run into someone there, and they would tell me how great I looked.  I went around the store walking confidently, back straight, head high, high heels making that businessy clackety clack on the floor.  No luck.  I didn't see anyone I knew.  No one noticed.

As I drove away from the store,  I realized that I was just pretending, just playing dress up.  I do that when I want to be someone else and when I want others to think I am someone else.  Someone classier.  Someone more beautiful.  Someone put together.  Someone who is going somewhere important.

Sometimes when I dress up, I am really just hiding.  Hiding from who I really am.  Hiding from the person that others might see and not like.

Playing dress up.  That is not something new.  Adam and Eve played dress up, too, trying to cover up their shame after they ate the fruit that was forbidden to them.  Fig leaves.  But their attempts to cover their shame was not enough.  Only God could cover them.  Only God can cover me.

Harmony

I am a harmony
searching for a melody,
the beautiful tune
that will finally set me free.

Where is that melody
that creates a euphony?
The wrong song creates
a cacophony inside of me.

Sing a song for me!
Would you, if I say please?
I want to hear your heart,
know if you are for me.

Until then I will bring,
the half song that I sing
bittersweet to my own ears,
yet pleasing to the King.

strangers

familiar stranger
i know your face
but neither one of us
has much to say
you don't know me
i don't know you
and we're not sure
that we want to
so we both turn
and walk away
"love you, see you soon"
we say

What do you see?

What do you see,
when you see me?
A soaring bird
or a busy bee?
a tiny seed
or a tall oak tree?

What do you do?

What do you do with hope?
Do you walk it like a rope?

What do you do with fear?
Do you pretend that it's not there?

What do you do with pain,
when it falls on you like rain?

What do you do with joy?
Can you believe its not a ploy?

Know

Know by trishjackson

Know
Music/Lyrics by Trish Jackson

Gracious God
My heavenly Father
I love you
My strong refuge
My stone of help
I trust you

For my times are in your hands
You lead me
When all others turn away
You are there

Sovereign Lord
My closest friend
You walk beside me
Shepherd King
Prince of Peace
Your hand will guide me

For my times are in your hands
You lead me
When all others turn away
You are there

You know my heart
It's not hidden from you
You know my thoughts
It's not hidden from you
You hear my sigh
It's not hidden from you
You hear my cry
As I call out only for you
For you, for you

And you hear me
And you answer
You know

Satisfy

Satisfy by trishjackson

Satisfy
music/lyrics by Trish Jackson
 
You offer me good things from your hand
I should be content
Or so you would think
I go in search of other things
I think can satisfy
They leave me dry
They can't satisfy
And they don't

You are my portion and my cup
You are enough
My heart will wander til it finds its home in you
Living water, bread of life
You're all I need

My heart often goes its own way
Worshiping idols
Made of clay
These are images I've made
Unable to speak, to hear, to save
From the grave
They can't satisfy
And they don't

You are my portion and my cup
You are enough
My heart will wander til it finds its home in you
Living water, bread of life
You're all I need

Give me an undivided heart
To follow hard
After you
I'm just the woman at the well
Who needs to drink
From the truth
That you can satisfy
And you do

Whispers

Whispers by trishjackson

Whispers

Lyrics/Music by Trish Jackson

Whispers of a fading world:
“Is there something more than this?”
Glimpses of another world,
How long must we wait for it?

Chorus
In the twinkling of an eye
all will be made new.
The grave clothes will come off,
and weʼll be dressed in white.
The Savior with open arms
will call His children home.
Weʼll see Him face to face,
no longer be ashamed...

Whispers of the Holy One
“O, I am with you always.”
Glimpses, of the kingdom come,
the Spirit and the Bride await.

Chorus

Preparing for the rain

A few months ago a friend and I were talking about waiting and what it looks like to wait.  She reminded me of the scene in Facing the Giants where the football coach is talking to a gentleman who prays daily for the Christian school.

He talks of two farmers who were praying for rain.  One farmer prayed and then when out and prepared his fields.  The other farmer prayed and waited. The question is: which one believed God?



Here are some quotes on waiting I read recently:

Waiting isn't just a matter of time passing. It's a conscious effort of preparing yourself for what lies ahead. What are you waiting on? How are you preparing? - a friend's facebook wall

"To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God molds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control." - Henri J. M. Nouwen