sweetly

Kiss me sweetly
while we're young
in spring green
and golden sun
underneath fresh fallen dew
seeds of love now brightly bloom

Hold my hand
when we are old
in gray winter
frosty, cold
still hearth fire inside glows warm
love snuggled close 'gainst snowy storm

Fall friends

There is nothing new under the sun. And so my mind turns again to thinking of life in terms of the changing of the seasons. I love the fall. I have been longing for Fall. Warmish days and cool evenings. Crunchy leaves and warm drinks. Pumpkins and corn mazes. Bonfires and toasty marshmallows.

But fall always comes with a cost, with loss, with an ending.  The weather cools, the days shorten, leaves fall.  I have been longing for the season of life in which I now find myself, but at the same time I am experiencing the shifting seasons of friendships.  A fuller schedule and changed time commitments make it difficult to spend time with friends.  Some friends have moved away. Others have changed churches. Still others have had their own life changes or made choices that have taken us along different paths.

I love the fall, but I am grieving the loss of summer. I am enjoying being married, but I grieve the loss/transition/change of so many friendships all at once.

But this, like so many others, is just a season.  So let those leaves fall! I will enjoy the season as it is:  beautiful death, leaves red, orange, and yellow, making room for something new.   The trees won't always be bare;  I am hopeful for a future spring.  Friendships revived or new ones birthed.

too far away...

All my closest friends live too far away!  California, Wisconsin, Tennessee, South Charlotte, Statesville.....Why can't everyone just live close by?  Like on my block.  I want to walk over to your house and come in without knocking on the door.  I want to take walks with you and hear how your week has been.  I want to bake you cookies and bring them over just because.  I want us to have a TV night every Thursday to watch our favorite shows and laugh together.  I want backyard bonfires and game nights.  Shared meals and shared lives.  I want to see you at church on Sunday, every Sunday.  I want to be in Life Group with you and study God's word.  I want to live life with you.  Everyday life.  Why are you so far away?

the answer

HIS presence is the answer to all my fears...

 “When you go out to war against your enemies, and see horses and chariots and an army larger than your own, you shall not be afraid of them, for the Lord your God is with you, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt... let not your heart faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of them,  for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.’ - Deuteronomy 20:1-4

 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.  - Joshua 1:9

 But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
 For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
 Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.
 Fear not, for I am with you;  -Isaiah 43:1-5

“Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”  - Mark 6:50

They shall call his name Immanuel, (which means, God with us). - Matthew 1:23

again

Hard to believe that we are already two and a half months into the school year.  Our first quarter has just ended, we had parent/teacher conferences this week, cross country will be over in one more week.

The beginning of this school year has been more difficult that most.  I find myself overwhelmed quickly and I feel like I am not able to do anything well---planning, grading, disciplining, teaching, etc.  Coaching seems an impossible task.  We have almost 50 runners and only 1 coach.  I never feel like I am enough for them....workouts should be better, quality time with each runner rarely happens, we don't have devotions often enough.

Guess I will have to ask the Lord for help... again...

It seems the Lord is having to remind me over and over  (and over and over and over) that I can do nothing on my own.  And even when  feel like nothing is what I would like it to be, He is still at work.

So I ask for help and He does.  He loves to help. He loves to be glorified through answered prayer.  A particular student has been frustrating to deal with, so I try in my own strength to get her "in line."  It doesn't work.  I ask for my Father's help and strength and wisdom and things begin to change.  My heart changes toward her.  I feel more patient, but also more confident to love through discipline.  Her demeanor changes.  She tells me she is trying to not be as disruptive.

Why do I always start in my own strength?  My memory of my own ability is far too short.

Apart from me you can do nothing...
John 15:5